


This Bites (Personal) Omake Collection

by Kaoupa



Category: One Piece
Genre: AU of an AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fanfic of Fanfic, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23248420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaoupa/pseuds/Kaoupa
Summary: A series of (typically AU) one shots that I wrote for the One Piece fanfic This Bites! They have already all been posted over on the Spacebattles thread, and I figured that I might as well share them here too.Take note that these omakes all probably require at least some in-depth knowledge of either This Bites or One Piece.
Relationships: Straw Hat Pirates - Relationship
Comments: 25
Kudos: 32





	1. Take This Government and Shove It

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [This Bites!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4833515) by [Xomniac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xomniac/pseuds/Xomniac). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't own One Piece, and I didn't write This Bites.

Sengoku slowly listened as the SBS took place, with Rayleigh narrating the truth behind Roger’s last days. He knew that voice even if the last time he’d heard it was more than twenty years ago, he could feel the ever-so-slight touch of Conqueror’s Haki even when it wasn’t being used.  
  
And darkly, he noted to himself that the odds of this not sending whatever was left of the World Government and the Corp’s PR into the trash were close to none. And they might as well be zero, after they were combined with the soon-coming war with Whitebeard.  
  
In other words, they were roughly the same as Jeremiah Cross and Silvers Rayleigh both taking the same course as Roger and turning themselves in to the Sabaody Marines.  
  
He hadn’t cared one way or another that Roger had turned himself in - well, no, he had. But he had given far more thought to the reason he had turned himself in than what they could do with his death.  
  
He had gotten his answer, after the Government had announced that they’d captured him to the world. He and Kong, as well as Garp and Tsuru and the Admirals at the time, had all been near-ordered to stay silent.  
  
And really, the fact that the Government had ordered them to stay silent about how Roger had turned himself in only made them look all the more ridiculous when Roger told the entire world that One Piece existed at what was supposed to be his end, the warning that nobody was beyond the Government’s-  
  
Something occurred to Sengoku, in that instant.  
  
It sounded ridiculous, at first. It sounded like something Garp would suggest, and on that basis he nearly dismissed it initially. But a question occurred to him, and it made him pause.  
  
_When has Garp ever done anything morally wrong? And..._  
  
“When… when was the last time that I ever really did anything, and I could say without any doubt that it was _right_?”  
  
Sengoku was quiet, for a few seconds. Then, he came up with an answer for himself. The answer was backed up by new ideas, protests against the possibility of what he was doing working correctly, the odds of pirates not overrunning the world and all of its citizens.  
  
Then, another suggestion came to mind. One that was backed up with new information, new possibilities. And slowly, he realized something.  
  
This had a very real chance of working. If nothing else, it would likely be better than the potential aftermath of what _was_ going to happen soon if he didn’t do it.  
  
50/50 odds, at the worst. And if the last year had taught him anything, it was that nothing was ever utterly unthinkable or completely impossible. Not as long as you were willing to give it your all and risk yourself.  
  
He was more than happy to do both of those things.  
  
Everyone in the Corps was taking a leap of faith, one way or another way.  
  
All that would change was who they would put their faith in. And with that, he made his decision.  
  
  
  
_Puru puru puru! Puru puru puru!_  
  
Jeremiah Cross barely even blinked as he picked up Soundbite’s receiver, and heard the tapping on the other side. “Voice masked, you are now live on the SBS. You have any questions for me or my guest speaker?”  
  
The audio-camouflaged voice came over the speakers several seconds after Cross replied. “ _Several, but I’d like to speak for a bit, actually. Recent events have left me… rethinking things_.”  
  
“We tend to do that with some of the more important SBSs…” Cross shrugged. “You see or hear anything in particular that got you thinking?”  
  
“ _More… I saw and heard what I had been overlooking, frankly. I already knew what I saw, but I had forgotten it and what it meant._ ” The voice on the other end of the call seemed… disappointed, for a second.  
  
Cross said nothing, and simply waited for the caller to continue. Whoever was on the other side seemed like they were baring part of their soul. He had limits for when he would make smart remarks.  
  
Besides him, however, Rayleigh looked surprised. At least, before he smiled. It was not a nice smile. It was the smile of someone who had a long-distance view from the comfort of their couch, of the category-5 hurricane approaching an enemy settlement when you hated all of the residents on a deep personal level from personal experience.  
  
Which was a very apt metaphor.  
  
“ _I have been working for the Navy for most of my life._ ” The sudden admission made Cross frown. But before he could respond, the caller had already continued. “ _And frankly, I have been aware of the corruption in the Marines and the World Government for almost that entire time. And I always planned to do something about it, for a long time. Every time I rose in rank, my awareness of how deep that corruption ran grew. And I decided to stay silent a little longer, so that I could do more when the opportunity arose.” A sigh arose on the other end. “And… that’s how I fell into their trap. Or… how I walked into it even after I saw it._ ”  
  
“Care to elaborate?” There was a pause.  
  
“ _Very well. In the end… this is my advice, to everyone listening. Everyone who is doing questionable things, things that you have doubts about, things that you think might be morally wrong… leave. As soon as you can. Because that is how I fell, and I imagine that it is how so many once-good people fell too. The World Government, the criminal rings like the mafia, the corporations, every single entity that values people less than its own benefit, and creates the illusion that it might be necessary… that lie is how they drag you in. That the horrible things you do might be necessary. That the horrors they or you commit are the lesser evil. That trying to fight them would do more harm than good._ ”  
  
There was another pause. Whether for the speaker to get their breath back or to think more, it was hard to tell. “ _And_ that _is how they turn you into one of them as well. It_ gets easier. _The more that you practice something, the more you tell yourself something, the more that you do something, the more it becomes a part of you. Whether it’s good, or bad. They don’t take you in all at once. They never do. They do it slowly. And if you don’t go… one day, you’ll look back. You’ll take a look at who you were, at who you are now, and you realize that even though you aren’t the same, there isn’t any one point that you changed at. And that… even if they created the circumstances and set up the road, you kept walking down it yourself._ ”  
  
There was quiet, for several seconds. Then, the voice on the other end came back. And this time, even through the voice-clouding provided by Soundbite, nobody could mistake the sheer determination, anger, and passion inside the speaker now.  
  
“ _But either way, on my part at least,_ **that stops today.** ” One more pause took place. “ _And as of today, I am departing the service of the World Government. Permanently. As is every Marine under my command - everyone who believes in the spirit of the Corps, and not the Government. We are supposed to keep the citizens, the people, safe, regardless of what the World Government believes about how expendable they might be for their goals. Any remaining Cipher Pol agent or World Government agent who serves the spirit of the Corps is free to join us. Any Marine who believes in the Government’s agenda, that other people are expendable for their personal goals… I advise that you either reconsider your life choices, or find new employment._ ”  
  
As the speech continued, Cross had a slowly dawning look of realization on his face. And… a mixture of awe and hope. “Hey, before you go any further… would you mind if we took down the Gastro-Scramble? If this is who I think it is, then saying it out loud in your own voice would make this even better.”  
  
Soundbite’s left eye twitched, and the voice that came next was undoubtedly annoyed. “ _That was the plan… Now._ ”  
  
Cross gave Soundbite a nod, and the inaudible Scramble dropped from the transceiver.  
  
And Fleet Admiral Sengoku’s voice coming onto the SBS live, was perfectly in tune with a golden glow emanating from every single Transponder Snail listening in on the face of the entire planet.  
  
  
  
  
Most of the Revolutionaries stationed at Baltigo that day were later convinced that it should not have been physically possible at that point for Monkey D. Dragon’s smile to fit on his face.  
  
Not that any of them cared, because they were all either staring at the gold-glowing Transponder Snails with their mouths on the floor, or wearing smiles that were nearly as big as his.  
  
“ _And as for any remaining member nations of the World Government, I am sending this message out. As current Fleet Admiral of the Marines, the speakers of any country remaining may choose to have their nations leave the Government with us, or remain with the Government’s uncaring clutches. While we do not have a chamber or meeting place such as Mariejois, I have no doubts that we can make one by the time of the next Reverie - that does_ not _involve the World Nobles as watchers and commentators._ ”  
  
“What a wonderful day.” Dragon commented airily. Nobody else really said anything.  
  
“ _However, considering our newfound lack of a need to keep the World Nobles appeased, I can foresee the Heavenly Tribute decreasing a great deal in the near future… on a side note, for any Marines listening, I would appreciate it if someone started working on a more appropriate name for that particular payment. We do need to remain bankrolled, but removing that drain on our resources will fix a lot of our present issues.._.”  
  
“Do we have any spies in Marineford? Have them check.” One of the Revolutionaries stated. “We’d better make sure this wasn’t just a psychotic break on his part that he’ll take back later.”  
  
Dragon did not comment on this. Like Rayleigh, he could somewhat detect that hint of Conqueror’s hidden in the voice coming out of the snail - even diluted, it was unmistakably Sengoku’s.  
  
And maybe it was a psychotic break. But if it was one, it was a psychotic break from the chains that he had been trapped in for years.  
  
  
  
“ _Also… Newgate, Shanks. I would like to, if you are open to the idea… I would not be opposed to the offer of an alliance, or even a simple ceasefire. I suspect that all of our forces have larger concerns on their plates right now than each other._ ”  
  
The Whitebeard Pirates, on well over four dozen ships and nearly as many crews, were looking semi-dumbstruck, mostly.  
  
Except for their leader and father. “GUURRARARARRARARA!!!” He was laughing louder than he had in months.  
  
“ _Whitebeard, for you in particular… as you have no doubt deduced, currently Fire Fist Ace, Whitey Bay, and Whirl Spider Squard and their crews are being held in Impel Down by the World Government._ ”  
  
Almost instantly, the laughter died.  
  
  
  
“ _As this state of affairs will ruin any chances of a future ceasefire should it continue, I am willing to offer you and your crew the use of one of our ships, to cross the Calm Belt to Impel Down if you need it. As for Magellan and the staff… offer no resistance without direct provocation when they arrive, and have the aforementioned prisoners transferred to the minimum-security wing on the topmost level without any further harm and turn them over when Whitebeard’s crew arrives, but do not remove their handcuffs. I fear you will all likely lose your lives should a conflict start. If the World Government orders you to have them executed regardless… I cannot guarantee your safety or that we will arrive in time_.”  
  
Within Impel Down itself, the members of the Whitebeard Pirates in question all gazed at the snails broadcasting throughout the prison with awe - and in many cases, tears.  
  
At the front of the line, where his clothes had just been hastily returned to him as he was shoved off towards an unknown but likely-better destination, Ace was sobbing harder than anyone else among them.  
  
  
  
  
“ _For the Warlords… we will see. Approach us or the Government should you wish - we will keep your offers of employment open, as I suspect they will. But I already have suspicions how each of you will likely fall across the line._ ”  
  
On an isle filled with apes imitating humanity, a master swordsman felt curiosity, as he pondered the routes before him. All three of them promised to be interesting in their own ways.  
  
On a woman-filled isle, their unconscious leader slept through the announcement as the vision of a young man smashing one of her personal monsters in the face played itself through her head, but she would laugh herself sick, among other things, when she woke up and heard what had happened.  
  
On a formerly-floating land filled with tamed monsters, a Princess had already reached for another Transponder Snail, to call into the meeting that she knew would be coming from her comrades.  
  
On an ship not far from the Red Line, a marionette master laughed himself sick, laughing as far atop that Line, he could already see the world of a certain population collapsing.  
  
On a not-quite island, not far from that ship or the Line, a large metal-cased man pondered what he had heard, as his metal-cased soul whirred and pondered this new turn of events - and how he should handle the fallout.  
  
Also near it, a fishman who was far more “human” than several of those individuals cast his gaze towards the island of Marineford, his destination and several burning questions already going through his mind.  
  
Far away, on an island, a darkness-filled man pondered his next move as he looked at the snail - and when he should begin that move, considering the new state of affairs that would soon be taking place where it would occur.  
  
  
  
“ _As for Akainu… I have no doubt that you will continue working for the Government, even now, not the Corps._ ”  
  
In the Mariejois infirmary, Admiral “Kizaru” Borsalino stared at the snail in the room, sweat already rolling down his face. _Oh boy, oh no..._  
  
“ _And as such, as of now - I will make you this offer, and I will make it once and only **ONCE**_.” A flash of far brighter gold lit up the room. “ _Do not touch any of the Marine bases or the citizens who are no longer serving the Government like I am now, and neither I or Garp will go after you. Focus on piracy like we are supposed to, not the people we are supposed to protect. And if you decide to ignore this offer…_ ”  
  
The next flash of gold was even brighter, and for a second he could almost see Sengoku’s glowing Buddha form - brighter than his light, almost. “ _ **Then any reason we have to ignore you will be ignored as well.**_ ”  
  
“So, Borsalino…” The CP0 agent watching him started to say.  
  
“I’ll stay here.” He replied hastily, sweat dripping again. “In Mariejois, in _every sense of the phrase_.”  
  
  
  
“ _And, I have one last message_.”  
  
At the top of Mariejois, the Five Elder Stars gazed in slight horror at the (unconnected) Golden Transponder Snail that they used to make their calls.  
  
The Golden Transponder Snail that, for the past few minutes, had been forecasting what could only be described as the near-complete destruction of a large part of 800 years worth of work.  
  
They could almost hear the _zing-zing_ of Imu’s sword in the distance, cutting a few very choice targets to shreds, Jeremiah Cross and Monkey D Dragon’s wanted posters, among others, likely among them.  
  
“Fleet Admiral” Sengoku would likely be getting one of his own, very soon.  
  
“ _To the Five Elder Stars and the World Nobles… And possibly you as well if you don’t follow me, Kong_.”  
  
For a second, every breath in Mariejois, from slave to “god”, was held at the burning light emanating from the Transponder Snails.  
  
“ _Go take a walk… **PREFERABLY**_ **OFF THE RED LINE**. KA-LICK!”  
  
And that bounty would exceed that of Jeremiah Cross’s previous record as the largest first-time bounty in the world.  
  
  
  
As the Transponder Snail in front of him went back to normal, Sengoku felt himself going back to normal, the rage dying down.  
  
And he felt a rather odd smile crossing his face.  
  
“Hey.” Came a rather familiar voice. It was strangely subdued.  
  
“Garp.” He said calmly, nodding to his old friend.  
  
“You feeling okay?” Garp replied, his tone still much calmer than usual.  
  
Sengoku pondered that. He didn’t have to ponder it for long. “I feel… lighter.” He admitted. And he did. Like a great weight had been removed. And really, in a way that was just what had happened.  
  
“You do know the consequences that this will lead to, I imagine.” Tsuru stated, entering the room through the still-aside door. “Akainu will still be working for the Government regardless of your decision. And so will all the other Marines we sent to the New World.”  
  
“I know. But they won’t be a problem soon… either they leave us, they go back to the Government, or the Emperors go after them now that they no longer have the support of the rest of Marineford.” Sengoku sighed. “But honestly, just having them _gone_ is a relief in itself.”  
  
“They might still be to some degree on our side.” Tsuru agreed. “But… we should take precautions. With how their reputation has been taking hits lately, it is not unthinkable that the Government might send them after our troops.”  
  
“Perhaps. But Aokiji at the least will remain loyal, so we have him as a deterrent… and I have no intention of leaving the Marines behind just yet.” Sengoku sighed. “But… I think that I might be of more use in the field given the current situation. The same goes for you, Garp.”  
  
“You intend to serve as a replacement Admiral until we find a substitute for Akainu?” Tsuru stated more than asked, nodding.  
  
“I suspect that I will do more good in a position where I am no longer in charge.” Sengoku admitted. “For… PR purposes, if nothing else. And Shanks and Whitebeard may be more receptive with somebody… less divisive.”  
  
As he finished the sentence - and before Garp or Tsuru could offer their old friend a shoulder to lean on, metaphorically - he started hearing something from outside. It seemed… well, there were too many sounds conflicting with each other to tell what it might be.  
  
“That a riot out there, or a party?” Garp asked, frowning.  
  
“Possibly both. If there are any Absolute Justice or World Government lackeys left who decided to depart Marineford the hard way by party-crashing.” Tsuru replied.  
  
“Well then! If it’s a party, then let’s go join in!” Garp grinned.  
  
“And a riot?” Sengoku replied.  
  
“Let’s join in that too!”  
  
And three of the oldest Marines in the world - and three of the strongest, as well - Shaved away from Sengoku’s office, already getting ready for whatever it was they found.  
  
And perhaps, getting ready to face it more united than they had been in a long time.  
  
  
  
For a few seconds after the blinding light faded and the voice of the Fleet Admiral vanished with it, Cross was silent. Then, the snail started bearing a shit-eating grin. “W _ell folks, you heard it here first. Fleet Admiral Sengoku, at the least, has officially quit the Government - but not the Marines. And I’m willing to bet that if it had been a lot of other Marines who did that, they might be standing alone_.”  
  
The population of the Marine base Shells Town was staring in gape-mouthed awe at the Transponder Snail, mostly. Except for Commander Ripper, who had recovered the fastest, and was walking towards the front of the base.  
  
“ _But if I’m reading people right, I doubt that’s going to be the case. This has been Jeremiah Cross, Soundbite, Silvers Rayleigh… and Fleet Admiral Sengoku, for the SBS._ ”  
  
“ _See you all later, folks._ KA-LICK!”  
  
“Sir? What are you doing?”  
  
Ripper didn’t even blink or turn around as he replied. “I’m following orders, and following an example.” At this point, he did turn around. “NOW! As the Fleet Admiral says and the Straw Hats have done… WE’VE GOT A FLAG TO BURN, MEN!”  
  
And Shells Town - and indeed, more than half the world - cheered as one.


	2. The Raid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another omake, more or less cut and pasted from my post on Spacebattles (thank you, whoever put it on the Apocrypha tab, it made finding this much easier).
> 
> Another (minor) AU of This Bites.

For most of the slavers of the Sabaody Archipelago, recently just about everything had gone horribly wrong.  
  
First, the Thirteen Supernovas, in the course of one day, had captured huge numbers of them, doing more damage to their industry than anyone else had ever done - and they’d done it with official support, even! All of their contacts on the local forces of “justice” had been thrown into prison and transported off by a Navy prison ship to an unknown destination. A destination that probably included a rushed sentence by a jury that probably was remarkably similar to the ones found in Enies Lobby.  
  
Where they went after that, none of them even wanted to think.  
  
Things had gone badly for them. But that didn’t mean that they weren’t planning to fix that.  
  
After the mass arresting and freeing spree, a few particularly daring slave suppliers had partnered up with some of the particularly hard-headed slavers who had gotten through it due to luck or running as fast as they could and were desperate due to lacking any on-hand profit or “merchandise”. After the pirates had been chased off the island by the inevitable (but delayed) Government strike, only a minor task force of Marines and local policemen had been left behind to keep watch over the island - the ones who were almost to a person, not on any sort of take, or at least not on the take of slavers.  
  
None of the non-slaver criminals were doing much to disturb the island’s new balance either. And when they were disturbing it, it was by finding and looting some of the stashes of money that the pirates hadn’t been able to pry up in time, building up their own image a little, freeing the prisoners of a few minor slave traders that the Supernovas missed before pummeling them and/or turning them in, and overall making themselves feel rather good morally, mentally, and financially.  
  
But Sabaody Archipelago had been effectively the worldwide headquarters of the slave trade for centuries, and there were many interested parties who weren’t physically present on the Archipelago that had a hand in it. And many slave traders had simply been out at sea already when word of the attack started, and they decided to wait until it was over. All took a massive hit to their profits when the Supernova’s attack took the world by surprise, and were more than willing to do whatever they could to recoup their losses - or make their profit exceed them, considering most of the competition was dead, arrested, or had no ability to make a living.  
  
And even though things had started to change recently for many places across the world, thanks to the Revolutionaries and the SBS, there were still many people out there who were effectively willing to sell their souls for a considerably lower price than they were worth to do things most people would find horrific.  
  
Even more money had poured into the Archipelago in the last few days, mostly from sources that anyone who knew anything about them would have called “black.” With it, came many smuggled things.  
  
Including, in this case, people. But not the kind of people that usually came to Sabaody where the slave trade was involved. These people came willingly.  
  
The plan was simple, really. The police force had been heavily damaged by the coup after all of the corrupt officers and higher-ups were removed, and more than a few of them had made plea deals - or, seeing their chance to finally do something about the thing they couldn’t prevent, willingly confessed to every last crime and criminal activity they could, bringing down a few criminals that might have been missed otherwise and freeing people who weren’t found initially. So while most of the non-slaver criminals weren’t really doing anything to oppose the police, there was the unspoken knowledge that the forces of justice on Sabaody, ironically were at an all-time low.  
  
And while the purge of the government (and the Government) on Sabaody had been through, the same loss of high-ranking officials that had let a secretary rise to the top within a day had been large and in many places, not been able to scour the lower ranks as thoroughly as they would have liked, since efficiency had mostly been focused on the thoroughly corrupt higher ups that mostly kept the non-corrupt members of the government from rising any further. And while many of the lower-ranking officials had happily fallen into place with the new way of things, more than a few people had been willing to quietly help with the people that were being smuggled in.  
  
They had maybe a week before things settled down again, to try and bring things to their advantage. The new “Governor” would be abdicating as soon as she could, that was clear. So they had just enough time for a quick assassination or poisoning so that they could get one of their own candidates in, before anyone seriously questioned things, and tell the fishmen in Grove 77 to leave - among other things. They had many further plans set in place, many of them backed indirectly by the World Nobles (who had decided to avoid the Archipelago for the near future after what the Straw Hats had done).  
  
But in this case, the World Nobles backing them was going to, for once, backfire.  
  
Because in Mariejois, what was spoken among the World Nobles rarely stayed secret among them - their fellows all held their beliefs, save for one, and no soul within the city except a World Noble could make a call to outside without it being intercepted.  
  
And in this case, thanks to one Donquixote Mjosgard, that was exactly what had happened.  
  
  
  
  
Less than a week ago, if the slave traders of Sabaody had been told there was a massive fleet of Marines bearing down on the island, it was likely that most of them would not have cared. Considering that a few of them sold their ill-gotten prisoners directly to the World Nobles that the Marines were supposed to work for, some of them might have seen such a thing as good. The Marines couldn’t go against the World Nobles, right?  
  
This view was broadly correct. The Marines couldn’t go against the World Nobles.  
  
Unless their orders came from the Gorosei.  
  
The Marines were already present on the island, and most of them were already cleaning house under the orders of Lieutenant Junior Grade Tashigi and Commodore Smoker. Every last Marine who had previously been deemed corrupt, or suspected as corrupt, had long since been thrown into prison and were awaiting trial, or already undergoing trial. A similar event had taken place on the police force. Marineford, due to the recent preparations for an entirely different event, had already been placed on a fairly strict lockdown.  
  
And as a result, there wasn’t anyone, for the slavers, who knew in advance and was capable of sounding the alarm.  
  
  
  
  
“Use code. Everyone is ready?” Sengoku stated into the White Transponder Snail in front of him.  
  
“ _Oars dead under the water._ ” _Yes._ Came the reply from the other end, with the snail puffing smoke. Sengoku ignored it - smoke over a Transponder Snail call was far from the worst feedback he’d ever gotten talking to a Logia.  
  
“You were able to trace them? All of the details of the slaver’s accounts arrested or otherwise, and who they could be linked to, ready to be reviewed by the accountants when we land?” Sengoku wasn’t sure if there were any Black Transponder Snails on the Archipelago - but he was taking no chances. Hence why he was the only one saying all of the advanced details of the operation and Smoker was left confirming it via code.  
  
 _“Blue Jam catch.” All of them found, and quite easily._  
  
“Good. We will be landing in less than an hour. Have the ports shut down within half an hour, fifteen minutes if possible. We will be searching any ship in them or that is leaving the Archipelago for suspicious activity.”  
  
 _“Smoking area is in the lounge.” Understood._  
  
“Good. Dismissed.” And with that, he hung up.  
  
For a brief time, there was silence in the room.  
  
“I’m honestly impressed that you managed to get this through, Sengoku.” Tsuru eventually spoke up from behind him, sounding calm.  
  
Countless Marines had been trying to get a raid on Sabaody approved for decades, including Sengoku himself, Tsuru as well, and Garp more times than anyone could count. But any serious action had always been stalled by… higher authority. Whether the World Nobles or the Gorosei, or maybe Kong, nobody but Sengoku could say for sure (and even that wasn’t always a guarantee).  
  
“It… I will be honest, I was surprised too.” Sengoku replied, breathing out. For a second, Sengoku looked every inch his seventy-seven years of age, and perhaps more like himself than he had in years.  
  
Not like the tyrant that more than a few people saw him as, similar to half of the current Emperors - just one with better publicity. Or a monster who the Government had harnessed for its own ends - like Akainu.  
  
Just a tired old man. Who had seen too much, heard too much, and perhaps done too much, and realized in the end the toll that all of that had taken on him more than one way.  
  
And who continued to march forwards anyway, perhaps reflecting more deeply than before. Trying to be a better person than the person he had become without really noticing.  
  
Because what else could he do?  
  
Give up?  
  
Then, he breathed out. And the moment was gone.  
  
“But after I came up with an argument, the Gorosei were willing to allow us to use a task force to go after the slave trade on Sabaody. They might have been willing to tolerate slavers... but apparently, they drew the line at allowing pirates to profit off of the slave trade any more than they did already.”  
  
“Willing to allow a task force, hm?” Tsuru looked out the window at the fleet of Marine battleships around them - a fairly respectable portion of those left untouched by desertions, Shiki, or the fiasco surrounding Enies Lobby.  
  
Also, though Sengoku didn’t know it, a fairly respectable portion of them were part of the Masons - or worked for someone who did.  
  
Considering that this fleet had been enlisted by Tsuru, Garp, and Sengoku specifically for their morality and loyalty to the spirit of the Corps and not just the letter, that said a lot about the state of the Marines.  
  
“This hardly seems like a small enough force for them to keep the World Nobles placated with whatever’s left after we are done. And this size of fleet could hardly have been assembled on such a short timetable without advance warning. Especially with the sheer number of Observation users you pulled in… or our special guest.” Tsuru was hardly against this. But...  
  
Sengoku sighed. “I didn’t. This plan was one that I had in the works for a while. I just… haven’t been pushing it recently. As much as I should have been.”  
  
“Due to the World Nobles always blocking our major efforts.” Tsuru sighed. The Corps could technically (and did) condemn slavery, and there were plenty of Corps members who went to Sabaody and fought the slavers there - for a few days.  
  
Before they were either ordered back off the island with whoever they’d managed to free tagging along, or were betrayed by their supposed comrades.  
  
Sengoku was silent longer than either of them was comfortable with.  
  
“...Perhaps. Perhaps they just started it.” He sighed. “But, I was the one who stopped pushing. Stopped trying at all to stop this. Because it was easy to focus on other things, because I was following orders, because…” he broke off his sentence.  
  
There was silence for a second.  
  
“Because it was getting easier to overlook this sort of thing. More…”  
  
“Ingrained?”  
  
“...Do you ever think Garp had the right idea in how he handled things?”  
  
“In not wanting to be promoted, yes. There are times when… I have considered why he did that. If nothing else… perhaps his way of doing things let him do the most good. Or perhaps the least harm.”  
  
“Even knowing what a mess it made of his family?”  
  
“His training was harsh, and I can hardly blame them… but what the Revolutionaries and the Straw Hats are doing can hardly be blamed on Garp.”  
  
There was a sigh.  
  
“Perhaps, yes. But… there have always been issues with how he took care of them, and we both know it. Perhaps… we should have done something more than what we did?”  
  
“...There are many things that both of us should have done that we did not and have not done.”  
  
“...Perhaps that happens to everyone as they grow old. Perhaps just not this badly and this often, and with consequences this vast.”  
  
“I would hope so.”  
  
  
  
  
The ringing of a Transponder Snail broke the silence a few minutes later. Tsuru picked up the speaker. “This is Tsuru.”  
 _  
“Sabaody is within visual ranges of sight for multiple vessels. The island is now on lockdown - all ships have been ordered to remain berthed or be considered guilty.”_  
  
“Good. There have been escape attempts made, I presume?”  
  
 _“Multiple vessels have attempted to submerge via coating, Vice Admiral.”_  
  
Tsuru chuckled.  
  
  
  
  
“You sure this isn’t overkill, boss?”  
  
“Be quiet!” The head slaver hissed to his men, looking around. “The only reason we originally got away from the pirate raid was because we submerged the second we thought something was happening, and you all know how that went for everyone! We’re staying down here, those Marines can’t have coated all their ships without smuggling out too much resin! And if they’re here for the pirates, we’ll be fine anyways, but if they’re here for us we’re safe.”  
  
“Would Marines even smug-”  
  
The question would forever go unanswered to the slave ship.  
  
“HALT!”  
  
Before any of them could react, a dozen - two dozen! Figures burst through the sides of the coating, two at a time.  
  
They all looked humanoid, but it was clear that none of them were.  
  
And they were all holding tridents.  
  
One of the fishwomen, about five and a half feet tall and apparently part puffer fish, moved forwards without hesitation. “This area is under lockdown, by order of the Ryugu Kingdom and Marine Headquarters! State and confirm your intent and business posthaste or we will be forced to disable the vessel and secure everything aboard!”  
  
By the way that every last fishwoman, fishman, mermaid, and merman was grinning and holding their weapons in front of them, they already knew what the likely answers were.  
  
  
  
  
“It may feel wrong, but I almost feel a pang of sorrow for them.” Sengoku noted sarcastically.  
  
“Indeed. Impel Down might almost be preferable to what they will no doubt do to slavers…” Tsuru shared the amused look of sarcasm that Sengoku might have been feeling. “Or what she will.”  
  
“Yes, that reminds me…” Sengoku muttered, before giving Tsuru a look. “Would you mind being the one to call her?”  
  
“No.” Tsuru had already started dialing on the content-looking Transponder Snail.  
  
  
  
  
“Now-”  
  
BRRIIIIINNNNGGG! BRRINNGGGGGG!  
  
Boa Hancock cursed as her speech to the rest of the Kuja Pirates was cut off, scowling at the terrified-looking Transponder Snail. “ _Hold._ ”  
  
Then, as if considering something, she gave the female-(presenting) snail a smile. “Please?”  
  
She nodded happily.  
  
  
  
  
Three minutes later…  
  
“Who is this, and why have you decided to disturb my speech to my crewmates?” Boa Hancock asked, Surume acting as expected and hissing next to the scared-looking snail.  
  
“ _Tsuru speaking.”_  
  
“Vice Admiral.” Hancock frowned. “While it is a pleasure to speak to such a high-ranking female Marine… I must wonder why you called.”  
 _  
“I first must ask that you listen to the following request that does not originate from me in full, before you decide whether to listen or not.”_  
  
Most of the Kuja Pirates within earshot frowned at the phrasing. Hancock herself was among them. “I will make no promises.”  
  
“ _Simply put, every organization here wishes to ensure that either we, you, or the Ryugu Kingdom are able to fully extract every profit possible from this operation, and learn of every source and associate that the slavers on Sabaody have who are not present on the island itself. So while I have no doubt that you and your crew will have personal or moral issues with this request, which I cannot blame you for-_ ”  
  
“You wish us to spare the slaver’s lives so that they can be arrested and interrogated.” Hancock finished. The look on her face was rather similar to some of the faces she’d had before hearing the SBS.  
  
“ _Sadly, yes._ ”  
  
Without prompting, the snail hung up. The pirate crew silent looked at their captain/Empress, who had sat back in her chair to ponder the dilemma before her. To kill the slavers and feel better immediately, or let them live to be arrested, sent to Impel Down, and see everything they’d built crumble? “I am… conflicted…” she muttered to herself.  
  
Decisions, decisions.  
  
Oh! One of her crew was waving their hand.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Empress, I can see the Vice Admiral’s point. But maybe, could we just cut them so they might bleed out if they don’t tell us everything and threaten to not get them any help otherwise?”  
  
There was silence. Then, Boa Marigold and Boa Hancock smiled.  
  
If any of their shipmates thought those smiles were directed at them, they would have given serious thought to jumping straight into the Calm Belt and just getting it over with.


	3. Imposter!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A certain plot point is dealt with by the local civilians.

“I’m sorry, they what?” The officer at the front desk of the Sabaody Archipelago Police Station looked like she was having trouble believing her ears. “You - you arrested the Straw Hat Pirates?!”  
  
The patrolman she was speaking to didn’t look very concerned for someone who was reporting they were responsible for the apparent arrest of some of the most famous figures on the Archipelago (the world in general, but the Archipelago in particular, some would say). “No. Technically, well, come take a look.”  
  
“I - I cannot believe you!” She looked utterly incredulous as she walked off. “I don’t know if they decided to humor you, or if you somehow hit them all with a grenade or something, but I can in no way believe that you arrested the Straw Hats!”  
  
The patrolman sighed.  
  
She’d see in about a minute.  
  
  
  
  
“Those… are not the Straw Hats.” Said the desk cop after a short time, now looking less angry and more confused.  
  
“Yeah, that’s what I was trying to tell you.” The patrolman shrugged, as he looked into the arrest chamber from behind the bars. “I got reports of a bunch of people trying to round up some of the recently arrived pirate crews, claiming they were the Straw Hats. I decided I would look into it on my off time and see if I could get an autograph, but… well, you can see.”  
  
“Yes, I certainly can.” Her anger at seeing the people who had helped all but end the slave trade on Sabaody arrested was gone now, and replaced by incredulity. “They… don’t even look like the Straw Hats!”  
  
And true enough, if you had never seen a bounty poster on the crew on question or listened to the SBS, the people in front of her might have been able to pass themselves off as the Straw Hat Pirates.  
  
“They sort of sound like them, though.” The patrolman added. “That threw people off for a bit, but they weren’t really doing anything too bad until the brainiac who claimed to be Luffy tried to hit someone with a pistol.”  
  
“What, you mean he tried to punch them?”  
  
“No, he tried to shoot a couple who was laughing at him. With an actual pistol, not a Gum-Gum one. Should have been clear.”  
  
“... _seriously?_ Dear God, you aren’t joking, are you?”  
  
“I couldn’t make this up if I tried. Hell, if I made this up I would at least try to make it more believable!”  
  
“Anyways, he tried to shoot someone… is that where the mob arrest came in?”  
  
“Bingo. Brought up too many memories of the World Nobles… and in this case, those pistols were all they had.”  
  
“So you stopped a public lynching, then?”  
  
“Yeah. I would have hated seeing all those people arrested, even if the judge would probably have cleared them. And well… death isn’t something you should have on your conscience if you can avoid it.”  
  
“...Is there something I’m missing here?”  
  
“...I used to work for the force here about a decade ago, but I quit after a few weeks to avoid an... incident. I rejoined about… two years ago.”  
  
“Gotcha… anyways, the fake Straw Hats?”  
  
“Yeah, they’re still trying to claim they’re the real Straw Hats. Nobody’s really paying attention to them now, though. We had a few Marines show up and try to claim them, but they lost interest when they found out it was a bunch of fakes and we said we could take care of them pretty easy. Well, except for the guy who claimed to be Luffy - they carted him off. Apparently, he’s got a bounty on his head already.”  
  
“Huh. Well, I guess the story’s got a happy ending for us, then… how much?”  
  
“26 million. We sent part of it off to pay for the hospital bills for the people who got shot by them.”  
  
“And he was trying to go to the New World?”  
  
“Yeah. I almost wish he’d gone there and taken a few pirate crews with him. Anyone that stupid over there, well, we could probably benefit from a few less idiots here.”  
  
“...I bet you a hundred beri they wouldn’t have made it past Fishman Island.”  
  
“If there was any way to take that bet and prove it either way, I still wouldn’t accept that…”


	4. Unanimous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone draws the line somewhere.

The Reverie was a large, and influential, gathering. Every kingdom in the World Government, every four years, would send their leaders, under guard, to the Holy Land of Mariejois to agree on courses of policy until the next one, based on what they thought was best. Even the nations that didn’t have a presence in the Government often sent representatives to the Reverie, to listen in on the decisions made there even if they could not throw in their own opinions. (They were often listened in on themselves, but accepted this as the cost of being there).  
  
“All right, that concludes the initial discussions on the Buster Call - are there any outstanding arguments against this?”  
  
In a room of over one hundred rulers, many of who were used to getting their way, there probably should have been more arguments. Even now, there were a few leaders who muttered something. But nobody outright protested or brought part of the agreement into debate again, which was probably the best anyone there would get.  
  
“The Buster Call is not to, under any typical circumstances, be deployed against any member state of the World Government or any island not under the leadership of the World Government. Revolts, or even the influence of the Revolutionaries, are not considered sufficient cause to launch a Buster Call. Pirate actions by any crew besides one of the Four Emperors are not considered sufficient cause, although a limited bombardment may be deemed acceptable. But only within areas solely populated by said Emperor’s crew, and only if any ground invasion would be deemed to be too costly to both civilian and military populations. Any usage of the Buster Call, or of a similar or greater scale usage of Marine effort, should require a public hearing beforehand by an unbiased panel of judges, and should be subject to either an independent investigation, or the investigations of the World Government member nation in question afterwards. If found guilty, any participating Marine deemed to be responsible for excessive usages of force or misuse of power may be sent to prison, to await trial.”  
  
A few of the kings would have been willing to ask for the ability to launch the Buster Call themselves. But the Fleet Admiral and the Admirals who had spoken on the topic had been utterly resolute - the Buster Call was restricted to them and the Commander in Chief, and nobody else got it without their explicit permission.  
  
So with the choice of getting someone else to do their dirty work taken away, they’d all prefer it if the option wasn’t there for people they didn’t exactly trust.  
  
Good or bad, everyone in that room had a sense of preservation either for themselves or their people.  
  
“With the… exception of the addendum suggested by the Alabasta observer outside of the main meeting, and initially supported by King Dalton of the Sakura Kingdom, among others.”  
  
This time, there was no muttering whatsoever. Only shudders.  
  
“Unanimous, then. Any confirmed presence of the… entity… commonly referred to as “Lily Carnation” or “the Hellplant”, or a similar being, will immediately lead to a Buster Call level force being deployed, with the possible presence of an Admiral if deemed necessary. That is all?”


	5. A Good Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cross shares with the world his (not-quite-complete) knowledge of Devil Fruits.

“-and yeah, that was easily the biggest dolphin that I have ever seen in my entire life, bar none.” I finished, summarizing up the list of strange marine animals i’d seen in the Grand Line. “And that’s just all the ones I can remember easily!”  
  
“ _AND NOT ALL_ **the ones that** THE REST OF US HAVE SEEN, **TOO**!” Soundbite cackled from besides me.  
  
“Yeah, this place is a biologist’s dream come true… or a nightmare, if they run into the wrong thing.” I concluded. “Anyways, that request for what I’ll tell you has been done. Now, if anyone wants to ask me something else before we conclude this episode-”  
  
“DOT DOT DOT DOT! DOT DOT DOT DOT! **Question** answered!” Soundbite sang from beside me.  
  
“I concur!” I picked up the mike, hearing a minor tapping noise on the other end. “Gastro-Blur in effect! Now, what’s your question? Please keep in mind, anything inappropriate or personal will likely get you either blacklisted or just disconnected.”  
  
“Okay, Mr Cross.” A nondescript voice came through. “I was just wondering… you keep talking about Devil Fruits, but I keep hearing more names, used for them.”  
  
“You mean the gum-gum fruit, I assume? That’s just the one Luffy ate.” I replied without a problem. “It’s what makes his whole body rubber.”  
  
“Actually, I heard about this from some of the adults in town once? They were mentioning… a Paramecia or something? It seemed like they were talking about a Devil Fruit before that, though. What does that mean?”  
  
I paused for several seconds. Soundbite gave me a significant look, before I resumed talking.  
  
“That’s actually a good question! But the answer is… kind of long. Actually…” I took a look at how many listeners/viewers I had on the transceiver, before nodding. “I’m gonna have to go get some of my crewmates. I can give you a general answer… but having some live demonstrations would be better! Soundbite… er, think you could play another Abbott and Costello?”  
  
“ ** _GLADLY!_** ”  
  
Getting up from my chair, I went off to find some of my crewmates.  
  
  
  
  
“Anyways, there are three different types of Devil Fruits, and each of them is featured here with at least one of my crewmates… Logias, Paramecias, and Zoans. Paramecias are the broadest category, since they’re… literally the category that involves all the Devil Fruits that aren’t classified in the other two, so I won’t really give any more of a description than that. Here, we have Luffy and Soundbite as examples.” There was the sound of something stretching over the transceiver.  
  
“Well, I can hardly say that i’m surprised here.” Garp grunted dismissively, before turning his attention back to the meeting.  
  
“I am surprised, but it’s mostly that it took this long for someone to ask.” Sengoku agreed, turning his attention back to his subordinate. “How are the preparations going?”  
  
“Indigo has been… settled in… to his new environment, and we have given orders that both he and Hogback are to be watched every second to ensure there won’t be any cooperative preplanned escape attempts we won’t have forewarning about.” Sentoumaru replied, before looking at the Transponder Snail that was playing the SBS. “You’re actually listening to this?”  
  
Sengoku snorted. “I think that we all knew this would be coming sooner or later, and at least this way it gets out to the most people without us having to waste the effort. Most of the world didn’t believe in Devil Fruits before the SBS started… and even if I hate the host…” Sengoku winced at an unfelt chest pain before relaxing. “This is the fastest and easiest way to get out news on how they work, and to tell civilians and any Marines who don’t know how someone without Haki or seastone can fight them.”  
  
“Speaking of Devil Fruits… how’s that side project of Vegapunk’s going?” Garp asked.  
  
Sentoumaru just shook his head. Neither Garp or Sengoku looked surprised.  
  
  
  
  
“So wait, what do the other two do?” Aisa asked through the Transponder snail. Besides her, for once, Laki wasn’t trying to stop her from calling in to the SBS, and was instead looking curiously, along with a decent number of Shandians and Skypieans.  
  
“Well, that’s a little easier to answer… oh, before I forget! Devil fruit users, as a whole, are susceptible to seastone being used on them. It cancels out devil fruit effects, prevents them from using any they might have, and weakens them to boot. But it only works as long as they’re in contact with it - and it has to be touching them to work. Not their clothes, them.”  
  
“Okay, got it.” Apis nodded. “What were you saying about the other two types?”  
  
“Right, right… anyways, Zoan devil fruits are the next most common, and they basically give their user the attributes of a particular animal, like how Chopper and Merry both ate different models of the Human-Human Fruit. There can be multiple types of a certain Zoan fruit, too, so to say - but they won’t ever be exactly the same. Rob Lucci ate the Cat Cat Fruit: Model Leopard, so any other Cat Cat Fruit users would have to be, say, a cheetah or a tiger. Still cats, but not the same cat.”  
  
  
  
  
DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT! DOT DOT DOT DOT DOT!  
  
“Huh, another caller. You’re live on the SBS - you have any questions that relate to my impromptu lecture on Devil Fruits?”  
  
“So, does that mean that Zoan fruits are the weakest ones? Since they can only-”  
  
The question was cut off in the middle by a gale of laughter both from the SBS and off the SBS.  
  
“Zoans are _weak_?! HA HA HA… Moron.” Kaku chuckled in amusement, with the rest of Cipher Pol 9 (renamed Jormungandr) looking just as amused, even Lucci and Hattori.  
  
“-HAHAHAHA… No.” Came Cross’s reply over the SBS, the amusement in his tone finally dying down. “There aren’t really any weak Devil Fruits, as far as I know - just weak users. I’ll admit, Zoans don’t exactly sound all that exciting compared to the other two…”  
  
Not even Jabura bothered to argue with that.  
  
“But they’ve got a ton of side effects, compared to the rest, even if they aren’t as interesting. Chopper’s intellect pretty much went from not even a child’s mind to, well, a genius after he ate his fruit…”  
  
There was an undeniable noise over the SBS that sounded like the doctor of the Straw Hats going into an impromptu happy dance.  
  
“And even leaving aside that you can bring inanimate objects to life with a Zoan, like with Lassoo and Funkfreed, both they and every other Zoan that I know about get boosted strength, stamina, and regeneration as a side effect, especially when they’re accessing their hybrid forms. Plus whatever attributes that the base animal might have, they can get too. Pell the Falcon, in Alabasta, can use his fruit to fly. Just ask Vivi.” None of CP9 saw it due to lacking a Visual Transponder Snail, but all of them could tell that she was nodding.  
  
  
  
  
“Also, animals don’t have to currently exist for them to be a Devil Fruit.”  
  
“What do you think that means?” Sweet Pea asked curiously.  
  
“Shhh! He’s going to tell us!” Aphelandra replied, shushing the rest of the room.  
  
“For instance, there are known instances of Ancient Zoans existing, which allow their users to turn into things like… say, dinosaurs or mammoths.” Several of the Kuja looked visibly intrigued. “And actually, forget currently, they don’t have to have ever existed at _all_.”  
  
The room went silent. “What does that mean?” Marguerite asked their snail, unable to keep the curiosity from her tone.  
  
On the projected screen coming from a Visual Snail that the Kuja Pirates had either stolen or purchased, Cross shrugged. “They’re extremely rare, even more so than Ancient Zoans or even Logias… but there’s known instances of mythical creatures being found as Devil Fruits. They aren’t too well known, but a… certain New World pirate, who I won’t name out of respect, ate a Mythical Zoan Devil Fruit that lets him turn into a genuine phoenix.”  
  
Marguerite looked at Elder Nyon curiously. “Do you think… that means there could actually be a Gorgon Devil Fruit out there somewhere?”  
  
The most experienced Kuja on Amazon Lily shrugged. “I haven’t heard of one… but I’m not prepared to say no.”  
  
  
  
“Anyways, the last type of Devil Fruit is Logia, like we have here with Vivi. And leaving aside aforementioned categories inside the Zoan devil fruits, they’re the rarest type of the three and generally seen as the strongest.”  
  
“So, should we be on the lookout for a Logia or two then, Princesses?”  
  
A loud snort came from two of the Boa sisters, and Hancock rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you later why that would be a waste of time.”  
  
“As Vivi here has no doubt made clear, Logia fruits are capable of controlling, creating, and lastly, becoming, a single element. This last part is easily the one that most people remember the easiest, because a Logia who’s trained themselves properly can transform into that element on reflex when somebody hits them, enabling them to avoid any damage dealt.”  
  
The eyes widened on most of the Kuja Pirates, and they all stared. The Boa sisters didn’t react.  
  
“However, this also means that most Logia users don’t really bother to train anything besides their fruit - since they can’t get hurt, why would they need to, is the general idea? Well, trust me, ask Eneru or Crocodile how that went when they ran into Luffy.”  
  
“Shishishishi!” Came the laughter of the Straw Hat’s captain.  
  
“But anyways, my point stands that a lot of Logia fruit users just don’t bother to physically train after they get their fruits, and when they run into something that can counter their element… like, say, getting Crocodile, who could turn into sand, wet so he’d clump together, or into someone that can hurt them or counter their powers, like Eneru with Luffy, or almost anyone with seastone, well, they tend to go down pretty fast.”  
  
“And Haki is counted among those methods.” Most of the Kuja Pirates perked up at that, before looking at their captain/princess.  
  
“So Armament or Conqueror’s Haki would let us hurt a Logia?” Daisy looked surprised, before snorting in realization. “And since Cross says most of them don’t bother to train otherwise…”  
  
Hancock looked amused. “Indeed.”  
  
Sandersonia chuckled/hissed in similar amusement. “I ran into one near the start of Paradise once - he said he’d give me a free hit before he destroyed me.”  
  
“The **look** on his face…” Marigold seemed to have sunk into a positive memory.  
  
  
  
  
“Now, this doesn’t mean that Logias are useless! Trust me, that’s very far from the truth, and their reputation is there for a good reason. Even with this broadcast, well, seastone probably isn’t something that most of the world has access to, and while there are more than a few Logia users out there who deserve to get thrown in the ocean to drown... not all of them are stupid enough to avoid training physically. And I… probably haven’t helped that number with this broadcast.”  
  
Charlotte Katakuri snorted, but continued to listen as he munched down on his donuts. The SBS had become one of his new favorite ways to destress after a long day. It was a real pity he’d have to fight the Straw Hats eventually...  
  
“Well, I guess that I’ve accidentally caused enough likely future problems myself for today, but I’ll give a list anyways of all the Logias who pretty much live up to their reputation. For starters, all three of the current Marine Admirals are Logias - and trust me, _nobody_ sane would ever mistake Aokiji, Kizaru, or Akainu for weaklings, whatever else you can say about them, the Marine Corps, or the Government.”  
  
“I could say a lot about Akainu… among other things, that he’s a surprisingly good Christmas party thrower.” Katakuri muttered to himself, his always-present smile growing a little more genuine at the memories of the Truce.  
  
“Trust me, even if they were physical weaklings, not taking someone who can turn into light, ice, or lava seriously basically means you have a death wish. For the other Marines and Government cronies who have Logias, there’s Commodore Smoker of the Navy, and former Warlord Crocodile...”  
  
  
  
  
“And lastly, there’s Eneru, who I am willing to bet most of you remember… _I_ sure do. That reminds me, Luffy, do we still have that picture when he saw you ignore his attack?”  
  
The fit of laughter resulting among the Red-Haired Pirates at the look on the electrical tyrant’s face was long and loud.  
  
“Now then, I think that’s everything I’ve got for Devil Fruits… sorry to disappoint everyone, but I am _not_ going to read out the list of every Devil Fruit that we have run into or know about. There’s a limit even to what I will do, and there’s actually a Devil Fruit encyclopedia out there anways, which gives a description of all the known Devil Fruits there are and what they do. Sadly, I haven't got a copy on me… hm, maybe I should have asked Cobra for one before we left Alabasta.”  
  
“Hey, you think he’ll remember that last thing Devil Fruits do?” Lucky Roo asked, tearing into a shank of meat with his mouth.  
  
“I’d hope so, he’s got one sitting right by him.” Benn Beckmann was busy inspecting and cleaning his gun while he listened, having already known all of what Cross was listing.  
  
“I’m **OFFENDED** YOU FORGOT about me, _CROSS_!”  
  
Onscreen, the blonde pirate rubbed his head sheepishly. “Right, how could I forget my partner? Sorry, Soundbite! One last thing, though I can’t give too many details about it - there’s another “level”, so to say, to Devil Fruits called Awakening.”  
  
A few of the crew members perked up, interested. Their captain and his top members were not among them.  
  
  
  
  
“Awakening basically gives a power boost to the fruit in question, breaking the rules of the typical Devil Fruit and how it works - but the power in question also comes at a price, each time.”  
  
“Well, there goes our knowledge advantage.” Smoothie sighed.  
  
“Awakened Paramecia class Devil Fruits - like the Awakening Soundbite got at Enies that saved my neck -”  
  
“YOU’RE _**WELCOME!**_ AND I DON’T REGRET A THING, _FEATHER-RAT_!”  
  
“-grant their user additional power, control, and range to the typical abilities their fruit grants - for starters, well, I won’t give any more big details away, but Soundbite’s range for hearing things got even bigger after he Awoke, plus his ability to mute stuff, and that’s just the start.”  
  
“NOTHING is safe from me now!”  
  
“Yeah, even so. That power also means that, well, their abilities start to actually consume their stamina, unlike before, so Awakened Paramecias have to be careful with the abilities they use or they’ll knock themselves out - literally.”  
  
Cross stopped to take a breath, before continuing. “Awakened Zoans… well, they’re a bit more complicated. The Jailer Beasts of Impel Down, who I mentioned before, are all Awakened, and their strength, durability, and regeneration are all absurd even compared to other Zoans! But, well. As far as I can tell, the reason they all got stationed at Impel Down was because they seem to have lost their higher thought processes - they are literally more beast than human, frankly. I don’t have as many details for how they Awakened and how it went like that, but to any Zoans out there? I’d advise being careful before you try to break that limit.”  
  
“And as for Awakened Logias…” Cross paused. “Well, I actually don’t know about any. And on that note! This is Jeremiah Cross!”  
  
“And SOUNDBITE!”  
  
“Of the SBS, signing off!” And the screen  
  
“Huh! So he’s not all-knowing. Why, Katakuri has one of the things he so clearly said don’t exist!” Charlotte Perospero smirked.  
  
“Actually, he was right.” Smoothie commented from beside her older brother, catching his attention - and annoyance.  
  
“What do you mean?!” Perospero looked rather baffled. “We sent off yet another letter months ago requesting his fruit be reclassified!”  
  
“Actually, Brother Katakuri got a final letter back from the people who write the Devil Fruit encyclopedia a few days ago!” Flampe interrupted eagerly, before scowling. “It said something about how his abilities couldn’t be counted as a Logia for some reason, and that the Mochi Mochi Fruit would be classified as a special Paramecia.”  
  
“That is just absurd! His fruit allows him to turn into an element, the mark of all Logia! Why would he not be counted?!”  
  
“Well, mochi is manmade, as compared to the Logia fruits. Perhaps that is why?” Smoothie interjected.  
  
The resulting argument among the Charlotte siblings about whether their brother’s fruit was a Paramecia or a Logia took nearly an hour to finish, and at one point nearly escalated to violence.  
  
It was stopped more or less when they all decided to write letters complaining.


End file.
